Doofus

            Ever since Ian Cron spoke on addiction in chapel on November 9^th, I’ve been thinking about addiction (you can watch it at http://tinyurl.com/gp34npr ).  We as humans typically confine addiction to very specific cases such as addiction to substances, gambling, sex, and many other things.  Mr. Cron pointed out that we are all addicted to several things whether we know it or not.  St. Augustine writes about his personal experiences with this in his work Confessions.  The goal of the honors class is to consider what it means to be human.  Based off of the reading for this week, I would venture to say that being human means to be addicted to sin.

            I’ll be the first to admit that the statement that I made above makes me uncomfortable, but I think that it a good thing.  I would hope that this doesn’t sit well with anybody.  St. Augustine wrote on his experience with this idea.  To briefly summarize for those who are unfamiliar with the text, Augustine recalls stealing pears from his neighbor, when he himself already had better pears.  He did not steal “so as to enjoy the fruits of my crime, but rather to enjoy the theft itself, and the sin.” (Augustine 36).  There is a French phrase, L’appel du vide, that references this idea.  The phrase translates to “the call of the void” and refers to self-destructive impulses that one experiences in their everyday life.  These both point to the natural human tendency to sin and act destructively.  The Bible also supports this in its claim that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23 ESV).  But a tendency to sin is not the same as an addiction to sin.

            In chapel this semester, the overall theme has been considering what we are “hungry” for.  We all have a longing for something that this world cannot satisfy.  Seeking to satisfy his hunger, St. Augustine writes “Such were the empty shadows on which I then fed, and was not fed.” (Augustine 52).  He sought relief from this hunger in sin to the point that he felt sick of “the foods that do not perish… because the more empty I was, the more nauseating I found them” (Augustine 45).  He lost the desire to obey and follow God, which in turn, led him to seek satisfaction in sin.  This is how we all develop an addiction to sin. 

Throughout writing this blog post, I thought of the song “I Have a Problem” by Beartooth.  I would not recommend the song, but I feel like it relates to the topic.  The lyrics say “God I wanna call you my father / I'm sick of drinking my life away / I can't remember anything / This isn't fun anymore”.  This part of the song relates to many ideas that were brought up, such as seeking satisfaction in God and sin and being addicted to destructiveness and sin.  It may have been St. Augustine’s rhetorical skills, but his writing helped me to realize addiction to sin as a part of human life.  I’m not saying that it is a good thing, or that we will ever be able to totally overcome it, but we need to try.

Title note:  When I sin, I often imagine God looking at me and asking “Why would you do a stupid thing like that doofus?”